Our Story - Wayne's Perspective

Some reading this website may not know the first part of our story. Here it is, told by Wayne, but proofread by Heather.

Some time in early March Audrey Benson – the coordinator for the medical school rotation Wayne’s in charge of, and someone who knows Wayne well - told him about a faculty member at Loma Linda University (LLU) who had recently lost her husband due to stomach cancer. Initially there was no name and no other information, just the thought there might be an opportunity for mutual friendship. Audrey also sat down with Heather, learned where she was at as far as relationships were concerned – and let her know she knew of a “tall, eloquent man” when the time was right. Heather was busy being a single Mom and full time faculty member, wasn’t ready, and didn’t think about Audrey’s hints again. Wayne, however, was fascinated with the information Audrey had given him, and with a few more hints eventually figured out that this mysterious lady was Heather Javaherian, OTD, the Director of the Doctoral Degree Program in Occupational Therapy in the School of Allied Health Professions (SAHP).

Through on-line research Wayne learned that Heather was a stunning redhead whose maiden name was Gallew. He figured out she was originally from northeastern Pennsylvania, and that in 1989 she was voted as Laurel Queen for that state. He discovered she was highly published and respected professionally, one of a handful of occupational therapists in the country involved in domestic violence, and voted the LLU SAHP “Faculty of the Year” – the youngest ever – in June of 2009. He also learned that Heather’s husband Hamid was a locum tenums radiologist prior to becoming sick in June of 2007 and that he had passed away on July 9, 2008, spending the last four months of his life on home hospice. From Heather’s blog Wayne observed that Heather was incredibly loyal to and in love with Hamid, that she relied on God to help her survive the pain of loss, that she had two small children – Ariyana age 3 ½ and Afshin almost 2, and that many family and friends were with her.

By this time Wayne was intensely curious. His intuition told him that there would be a lot around which Heather and he could connect. It took a few months, but in July, after returning to LLU from his summer vacation, Wayne called Heather up and asked her if she would be interested in sharing stories. Unknown to Wayne, but we believe known to God, the evening before that call Heather was doing some significant emotional processing. As a result the very morning Wayne called, Heather had moved her ring from her left hand to her right for the first time – signifying to herself, God and others that she was ready to move to another stage in life. When Wayne called, Heather was at first confused. Why was this doctor calling her and asking her questions about Hamid and the anniversary of his death? At first she thought Wayne must be fulfilling some chaplain type duties that maybe happened in Seventh-day Adventist institutions. As soon as Wayne shared that his 13 year old son had died of cancer 3 years earlier, however, Heather knew that Wayne was the man Audrey had mentioned several months before.

The very next day Wayne and Heather found themselves having lunch together and connecting in an incredibly profound way. They learned that they had both lain beside someone they loved deeply with a hand on his chest as his heart beat for the very last time. They learned they were both strong people who were going to be ok despite their losses. What began as a chance to share stories and explore friendship turned romantic on the way out when Heather’s shoe got caught on the curb and slid off. Wayne immediately and gallantly fell to his knee and gently and skillfully replaced the slipper.

The next day there was some exploratory e-mail exchanges. Within a couple of days these had turned in to long phone conversations. This progressed rather quickly into regular texting and a series of intense and thoroughly enjoyable dates including sampling a Tapas bar, sharing our mutual love for Indian food, taking an evening stroll at Corona del Mar beach, and experiencing a picnic on top of Snow Summit. Wayne’s running friends would laugh as he tried to understand and explain the feelings he had for Heather. Within a few weeks Wayne was getting to know Ariyana and Afshin, and spending more and more time at Heather’s house. It became clear that spending time together was not only enjoyable, it was also incredibly comfortable and just seemed right. By October Wayne was presenting Heather a ring…